The Gamer’s 10 Commandments

by W. Andrew Powell

In honour of the Holy See’s brand spanking new 10 commandments for driving, I thought it was about time for a few commandments for gamers. You can just call me the Reverend Gam3r…

The Gamer’s 10 Commandments:

1. Thou shalt mock every console but thine own.

2. Honor thy server and thy broadband connection.

3. Thou shalt not baninate thy teammate, unless they be a total prick.

4. Thou shalt not covet the l337ness of thine enemy nor wallow in thy noobishness.

5. Thou shalt not frag thine own team unless thou wisheth to suffer the wrath of many gamers.

6. Thou shalt not steal without knowing thou canst kill the guards.

7. Thou shalt not trash talk without the cajones to back it up.

8. Thou shalt not leave thy microphone on whilst in the can.

9. Commune with thine games often, and bear witness to the joy of the beer, and pizza, and wings.

10. Frag thine enemy’s arse til they be dead, dead, dead.

In response, Aisha thought she should contribute something equally important…

The Girlfriend’s 10 Commandments to Gaming:

1. Thou shalt not game if thy Girlfriend is upset.

2. Thou shalt let the girlfriend win no matter how bad her skills may be.

3. Thou shalt respect the amount of time spent gaming.

4. Thou shalt be kind and courteous and play at reasonable hours of the day.

5. Thou shalt not let gaming stand in the way of regular chores.

6. Thou shalt pause the game you are playing when speaking to thine girlfriend.

7. Thou shalt not play with the volume so loud that it deafens thine pets.

8. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s games.

9. Thou shalt not be late for dates promised to thine girlfriend due to gaming.

10. Thou shalt always have 2 controllers so your girlfriend can jump in at anytime and kick your ass – because she has secretly been practicing while you’re out and is the best gamer ever.

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1 comment

Steve Alguire June 30, 2007 - 2:19 pm

Honestly, I don’t know gaming, so most of Andrews’ commandments went over my head. But Aishas’ made me howl.

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