Blogging the 2008 Juno Awards – Part 1

Here we go – another Juno Awards (this year in Calgary, Alberta), and another rant about why they suck. I really want to like them, but I’m sorry – why are they so awful? I’m probably not going to blog every minute of them this year, but I’ll have a few updates on how they go…

THE RED CARPET
Making a red carpet interesting is apparently, no easy task, especially when you’re eTalk. I have been watching CTV/eTalk try and make the Juno red carpet interesting for the last 6 or 7 years, and they have failed with spectacular abandon every time. The hosts suck (although Ben Mulroney brings new meaning to the word suckage), the stars seem unsure what they’re supposed to be doing, and there is an ever-present monotony to every moment.

Sad, but true. I just can’t sit through the whole hour of blather.

THE SHOW
8:00 PM – Every year I have a lot of hope for a good show, and the opening song says a lot about what you can expect, so it seemed pretty sad when they opened with the slooooooooow “Alberta Bound” by Paul Brandt and joined by Johnny Reid, and Shane Yellowbird. Is it a good song? Maybe, but a slow song does not lend itself to an exciting show.

8:05 PM – Russell Peters takes the stage with a pile of empty oil drums. A few good jokes, interspersed with some blather, but he gets his butt out to say hi to folks and well, he still kinda sucks. Juno jokes abound, as do Peters’ usual self-deprecating asides.

8:10 PM – Oh boy, more blather from two people reading a teleprompter. But Single of the Year seems like a cinch for Feist… and sure enough, she wins. (And by the way, Alberta be damned, “1234” was the song that should have opened the night.) She gets a minute to thank folks before the orchestra plays her off.

8:16 PM – Peters introduces Avril Lavigne with some creepy comments about having a crush on her, and then Avril plays through a half-hearted “Girlfriend”. Ouch. The boredom continues. If you saw Avril at last year’s MuchMusic Video Awards you probably enjoyed a much better performance… and isn’t that song like ancient now?

8:23 PM – Paul Brandt picks up a Juno for Country Recording of the Year and thanks God, and a bunch of industry folks. Well, thank goodness someone thanked God, I was worried He wasn’t pleased with the Canadian music scene or something.

… more to come.

Avril Lavigne photo from the red carpet courtesy of CARAS/iPhoto.ca.