Overlong, repetitive, and paying more attention to production design than anything resembling character or narrative, Gore Verbinski’s return to horror with A Cure for Wellness is the definition of a painful slog. It’s a simplistic, overwrought, melodramatic chiller that will appeal primarily to people who like pretty images and clichéd atmospherics and don’t care that they’re being force fed the same two or three story beats over and over again without deviation for an ungodly two and a half hours, building to a twist reveal so botched and so obvious that it only works if the viewer has never seen a horror or fantasy film in their life.
Prepare yourself, because the first image from director Gore Verbinski’s film adaptation of The Lone Ranger has arrived and it’s… interesting.
New on DVD and Blu-ray this week: Johnny Depp gets animated for the hilarious comedy, Rango; Matthew McConaughey stars in the thriller, The Lincoln Lawyer; and prepare for the creepy horror film, Insidious.
New arrivals in theatres this weekend include: the sci-fi drama, The Adjustment Bureau, starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt; the animated comedy Rango, with Johnny Depp in the title role; the Canadian film Funkytown, set in the drug-addled days of disco; and the lame teen drama, Beastly.
“Best. Ever.” is a weekly conglomeration of things that made my week. And there was much rejoicing.